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What Use Is My Life Now?
By Francis Nnamdi Elekwachi.

Chief Egwu was aged 58 and living in the Cameroons with his wife and five children, 4 boys and a girl. He had lived in that country since before the Biafran war and so was his junior brother Timothy, who had also raised a family of his own. The two brothers became involved in the booming international cross-boarder trade between Nigeria and the Cameroons, which blossomed after the Nigeria-Biafra war in 1970.

One faithful day a few years back, Chief Egwu decided to take his family on a visit to the home land, accompanied by his brother Timothy who was on the usual business trip. As is the practice amongst the traders, the chief apprentice and an army of apprentices would always look after the business whenever the master was away, and that was the arrangement in the case of the brothers on this occasion. Timothy's kids were too little to be taken on a trip, hence his wife stayed back to look after them. As Timothy's wife and children, the apprentices and househelps tearfully bid farewell and safe journey to the travelling entourage, little did they know that only Timothy would live to tell the story of tragedy that would follow.

They left Kumba and subsequently boarded one of the usual boats that would ferry them across the sea into Nigeria. Mid way into their journey disaster struck as the rickety boat in which they were sailing capsized.

Chief Egwu swam forwards and backwards, helping one son or the other, his wife and daughter until he could no longer decide which one to help. While holding one and pulling him or her along, another sank deeper and deeper into the salty ocean water, gulping for air crying out for help. He had to abandon the former to try and save the latter. At this stage it had become practically impossible to distinguish the voices of members of his family from the dying wails all around him. Nor where any rescue ships nearby to help save the human mass from the feast of the seas.

Timothy swam to and fro from one drowning person to the other, searching for his nephews, his brother's wife and his brother, confused and stupefied, at last not knowing who to help and who to abandon.

The brothers swam in circles until both started loosing strength and gulping water, Chief Egwu was particularly in bad shape at this time. Everyone else except the two brothers had disappeared, as if they never existed, swallowed by the raging ocean waters. Then Timothy suddenly came to, battered by the rage and thunder of the waves, he awakened with the thought of his little kids and his wife. He had forgotten them for what seemed like ages as he battled the waves trying to help his brother save his wife and kids. He looked around him hopelessly, disorientated. Visibility was barely beyond his nose and the waves formed a wall of opaque sea all around him. The night was pitch black, the sky starless in clouds. It was as though he was in a
bottomless pit, there was neither sun nor moon, nothing but a raging sea of darkness. In a voice quite unlike any human sound, he yelled out one after the other, the names of his brother and his children and wife. He seemed to whisper to himself "Oh God, what sin have we committed to be so punished?". He was just beginning to let go of himself into the beckoning voracious abdomen of the raging sea when he suddenly remembered his little kids and his wife again. "I must get to my wife and kids alive", he said to himself, "I must live to tell the story of what happened to my brother and his family, If only I knew which direction is land". As he was about to take the gamble of his life, he heard a feeble voice call out, barely a whimper, "Tim, Tim, this way, this way". It was coming from over the wall of sea behind him. He recognised the voice, his brother was still alive. He swam and swam over the waves. He mustered all the strength he could summon. He got to Chief Egwu who was now very weak and barely hanging on. He swam along, one moment urging the Chief along, the other moment dragging him away from the guts of the sea towards land, as he mourned and groaned over his disappeared family. Chief kept asking no one in particular "what use is my life now?" (Adim ndu eme gini?).

Then they hit land. Tim dragged his brother on to land, the water was now waist-deep, so he let go of his hand and staggered on thanking God that they were now safe. Then suddenly he noticed that his brothers mourning and groaning seemed to fade farther and farther away rather than get closer as he staggered out of the water. Then he looked back. Chief Egwu was now neck-deep in the water and walking back into the bowel of the sea. Timothy shouted, "Oh no, God, don't, don't, brother don't do this, wait". He made to dash back into the water but fell over, too weak, exhausted, helpless and in tears. "What use is my life now?" and Chief Egwu disappeared into the raging wall of sea.